My group defined leadership as;
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Our findings/ wonderings/ discoveries from session one: WONDERINGS- DAY ONE
SESSION TWO
In dialogue…..
•Learn to say respectfully – " I see it differently – this is what I think and why I think it is …"
•When you think it is appropriate, ask the group for a moment’s silence to slow the pace of the conversation, and give you and others, time to think
•Ask a ‘cause and effect’ question – for example- " can you explain why you think it true that if these things are in place such and such will occur ?"
•Make a summary observation that takes into account several people’s contributions and that touches on a recurring theme in the discussion
•Find a way to express appreciation for the enlightenment you have gained from the discussion. Try to be specific about what has been helpful in your developing further understanding
•Make a comment that, at least , partly paraphrases a point that someone has already made
•Make a comment indicating that you found the speaker’s ideas interesting or useful. Be specific as to why this was the case.
•Contribute something that builds on, or springs from what someone else has said. Be explicit about the way you are building on the other person’s thoughts
•Use body language ( in only a slightly exaggerated way) to show interest in what different speakers are saying
•Make a comment that underscores the link between two people’s contribution – make this link explicit in your comment
•Ask a question or make a comment that encourages a person to elaborate on something they have already said
•Ask a question or make a comment that shows you are interested in what the other person is saying
Murray's summary of session two:
Kia ora koutou
We came together for our second time ( we missed having Aroha with us) and spent time getting to know one another and the context of our roles, as we build a community of learners. I place great store on the personal and professional coming together just as I place emphasis on being ‘authentic’ or ‘true to yourself ‘ as you lead. You can do this by utilising different strategies and skills in different contexts/ situations without being someone who is not you. There may be a different you growing as you gather experiences. We read about the socialised and self authoring minds as we sought to understand how we ourselves operate and how others might operate as we build ‘ relational bridges’
We focused on ‘ leadership’ - it is a struggle to define the concept- ‘ influencing- change and direction’ come through; it is far easier to define qualities or dispositions - confident- caring- courageous- reflective and leadership strategies- reflecting- articulating -coaching -scaffolding- presenting .
I encouraged you to reflect on your leadership platform- your beliefs- why do you do what you do. What sits behind your acts of leading and of teaching? It is important to be able to articulate ( to oneself) why we do what we do - our mental model ( it will be unique to each of us) and our ‘theory of action’.
I mentioned - the head- the heart and the hand of leadership- knowing/being and doing -as an integrated whole….
We explored ways of interacting with others and differentiating our ‘ talk’ to meet different personality styles. We explored ‘qualities’ of effective teams and how we might go about reflecting on our effectiveness with our team …
I am rewriting the scaffold to reflect each team member’s contribution ….to sit alongside the paper version ….
We explored emotional intelligence - empathy/ sympathy ...Goleman links leadership styles to E.Q. ( have a look in the folder)
We partnership one another in reflective coaching conversations using the PPP or WWWW scaffolds ...a different conversation- to use to encourage others to ‘ think’ for themselves’
Go well
MurraySESSION THREE
What makes successful change?
To make change successful, the following need to be considered;
-there must be an authentic reason for the change
-time- appropriate amount of time given
-shared understanding- everyone is on the same page
-a plan- how is it going to be actioned?
-attitude- people need to have the right attitude and mindset to be receptive to change
-communication and dialogue is vital
-reflection- should be on-going throughout the change
How do you influence others?
-sharing of ideas
-guide- the other/r are in "control"
-listen and HEAR- paraphrase
-partnership not hierarchy
-create opportunities for others
-support others
-model through your actions- lead by example
-approach situations with optimism
Dialogue vs. Discussion
-dialogue goes deeper and asks the 'whys', sees the bigger picture and creates shared meaning
-discussion isn't as deep and can be more one sided
-there is time for both types of talk- e.g. admin talk can be a discussion, talking about vision, goals etc. should be dialogue
AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP- click here to read "Engaging in Courageous Conversations"
"What capacity do we need as leaders to demonstrate authenticity and build credibility and trust? One of the most critical is our ability and willingness to engage in challenging, sensitive- in a word, courageous- conversations."
"DEEP CONVERSATIONS UNCOVER INVISIBLE GOALS"
Stone, Patton, Heen 1999
A Difficult Conversations Checklist
Step 1: Prepare by Walking Through the Three Conversations
1. Sort out What Happened.
Where does your story come from (information, past experiences, rules)? Theirs?
What impact has this situation had on you? What might their intentions have been?
What have you each contributed to the problem?
2. Understand Emotions.
Explore your emotional footprint, and the bundle of emotions you experience.
3. Ground Your Identity.
What's at stake for you about you? What do you need to accept to be better grounded?
Step 2: Check Your Purposes and Decide Whether to Raise the Issue
Purposes: What do you hope to accomplish by having this conversation? Shift your stance to support learning, sharing, and problem-solving.
Deciding: Is this the best way to address the issue and achieve your purposes? Is the issue really embedded in your Identity Conversation? Can you affect the problem by changing your contributions? If you don't raise it, what can you do to help yourself let go?
Step 3: Start from the Third Story
1. Describe the problem as the difference between your stories. Include both viewpoints as a legitimate part of the discussion.
2. Share your purposes.
3. Invite them to join you as a partner in sorting out the situation together.
Step 4: Explore Their Story and Yours
Listen to understand their perspective on what happened. Ask questions. Acknowledge the feelings behind the arguments and accusations. Paraphrase to see if you've got it. Try to unravel how the two of you got to this place.
Share your own viewpoint, your past experiences, intentions, feelings.
Reframe, reframe, reframe to keep on track. From truth to perceptions, blame to contribution, accusations to feelings, and so on.
Step 5: Problem-Solving
Invent options that meet each side's most important concerns and interests.
Look to standards for what should happen. Keep in mind the standard of mutual caretaking; relationships that always go one way rarely last.
Talk about how to keep communication open as you go forward
Questions to Ask Yourself Before
Having the Hard Conversation
Do I have to say anything or will it fix itself on its own?
Is the teacher doing something that is really bugging me because it is a pet peeve of mine or is this something that needs to change because it is affecting students?
If I say something is it going to move the teacher’s practice forward?
How important is it for the students that I bring this up?
Do I have enough information and accurate information about this situation?
Is what is going on in the classroom unsafe or damaging to students?
Can I say what I want to say and still project acceptance of the teacher?
Am I in the right frame of mind to say something or will I become too emotional?
What is the intensity of this need? Does it need to be handled now or can it wait?
Can this issue be brought ups via email or another medium? Which medium would be most effective? Does it need to be said face-to-face?
Are the negative effects greater than the potential gains if I choose to speak out?
Who or What else will this affect?
Is this the time for the teacher to hear this? Can he/she hear this now? Or is his/her stress so high it wouldn't be heard?
Do I have a positive, trusting relationship with this teacher so that I can bring up this concern and have it heard?
If I do. bring up the concern, is there enough time to really deal with it or will it just cause problems?
Have I handed the problem back?
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having the Hard Conversation
Has the teacher been given the opportunity to self-discover this issue and is it on his/her plate? Have I tried to bring it up before and what was the response? Is there a way I could help them see it is a concern without going into "hard conversation mode"?
No matter the outcome is this something I have to say because I just have to say it?
Am I willing to experience the discomfort that might come as a result of bringing up this topic?
Do I model the correct behaviour I am looking for so after I say something I will know I am already walking my talk?
Is this a contractual situation? What rights do I have?
What rights does he/she have?
Have I thought through enough what the real problem is so I have it well articulated myself? Has it come up before? Is it a pattern?
By my silence does this person think I agree with his/her perspective/behaviour? Is that ok?
How do I feel about offering this criticism? Does it give me pleasure or pain?
If I bring this issue u do I have an action plan thought out? Can I support the teacher through the changes I would like to see made? Do I have a game plan in mind?
Have I thought through why the teacher might be behaving in this way? What are the external or internal factors that are affecting the teacher? What might be his/her motivation?
From "Questions Questions to Ask Yourself"
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